The Tigers and The Times of India

I honestly think that at this time, when our Tiger numbers are even lower than they were when Project Tiger was launched in 1973, we REALLY need "in your face facts". Without them, we just don't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. In the top most story, the author has rightly said on behalf of the Tigress - The humans are now suddenly protecting us because, ultimately, it's not us they care about, it's THEMSELVES. We're such a fuckin' selfish bloody species!!! We can't even conserve without a selfish attitude. Though, again, some would say that depends on what you would define as selfish.. but this really IS incomprehensible. For me, my motive is clear but those who do it for a selfish reason of protecting themselves in the long run, at least do THAT properly!! Human beings really DO have very strange minds - one minute we're poaching animals all over the place, the next minute, we're making laws to protect them.. I'm not complaining. In a way, it's good. But why do we do things? Just coz some random person, or law states that we should? Or do we really even UNDERSTAND what we're doing and the consequences of our actions (good and bad)?! The fact that, (for whatever reason), the media is giving attention to such issues, is VERY important in today's times.. because without that, half the country wouldn't know what's happening. It's high time now. People, please ACT! Enough "meetings, discussions, time-offs..etc.." Enough wastage of time! The following are copy-pasted stories from Page 17 of The Times of India - 9th August, 2009 (and however long they might be, I think every possible person should read them and understand them because you can afford to spend 10 less minutes in the bathtub, 5 less minutes in front of your mirror.. for now. Because some day, that's all you will be able to look at..what with the wildlife gone and all...) : EXCLUSIVE SHORT STORY The wise tigress and a silly fool with a gun BULBUL SHARMA They call me Rani which I think is a silly name since I have no royal blood in me but I cannot do anything about it. Men have their own odd ways and ever since they came to live on earth with us we have had to go along with them to survive. Sometimes we lash out, like my old uncle Sher Khan who turned maneater in his old age. His teeth always gave him trouble after that and his skin began to smell really awful. But he was a rare case. For thousands of years we have hunted our four- legged prey in the grassy meadows and never looked at man as our next meal. He was frightened of us even when he lived in a cave and hunted with sharp-edged stones. They say he drew pictures of my ancestors on his cave walls so that he could trap their spirits to enable him to hunt them easily in real life. He loved our skin even then and wore our teeth around his neck. Silly fool. Later when he grew a little wiser, he started worshipping us and wrote many songs about our great strength and cunning. He stamped our heads on seals and even carved our figures in clay. Later when he built temples he made us stand like guards at the gate and then we all felt so proud when the Goddess Durga chose one of us as her ‘vahan’. Even to this day, you can see her fierce and beautiful form riding a tiger as she slays the buffalo-demon. Though sometimes I see our cousin the Lion with her and then I feel quite upset. We have always been the rulers of the forest and every animal fears us, except the elephant. Men have written many clever stories about our valour in the Jataka and Panchatantra tales though some of them mock us and make the tiny mouse braver than the mighty tiger. I never let that bother me and always teach my cubs that men have a weird sense of humour and fun. They are the only people on this earth that kill other animals not for food but for their amusement. At first we hunted quite openly since man was not running on wheels and hunting with a gun but later we had to learn to stay hidden in the shadows of the tall grass. Our fur with its cleverly designed black uneven stripes merged in the landscape and we could not be seen even when man came quite close to us. We could smell him but had to stay very still because he now had many clever gadgets with which he could track us down and shoot us. Why he hates us so much I have never understood. It was not always so. There was a great ruler called Asoka many centuries ago and he wrote on stone that we should not be harmed. People obeyed his rules and left us alone to live happily in our forests. The forests those days were rich and dense, filled with food for not only us but every other living creature. The tribal people who lived here sang many wonderful songs about us and painted our forms on their mud huts. “Men were born innocent but got more and more clever for their own good,” my great-great grand mother used to say every time she saw one of our clan shot dead. She remembered her grandfather being hunted by an emperor who came on an elephant all decked up with golden headgear and a huge velvet umbrella. There were a hundred men with him carrying spears and what a great noise they made with their bugles and drums. They tied a poor deer to a tree and waited. My ancestor was warned not to go near the deer but he was hungry and could not resist. They said that he was not the only one they killed that day. The emperor’s elephants carried home more than a hundred dead tigers as they marched through the forest. The palace floor was soon lined with my ancestors’ skins. Later they made many beautiful paintings of this great hunt; though they say my late ancestor looks very handsome as he fought to death, I do not want to see these paintings. When my cubs ask me why do men like our skin so much I really have no answer. I would never drape a dead man’s hide in my den. It would give me nightmares. Man continued to kill us but now he did not paint our handsome figures. He just came in large groups and shot us all down from a ‘machan’. His skin was white in colour and he wore a strange-looking hat. Now for the first time even the female of the species began to shoot us and then posed for a photograph with her feet on our dead body. Did she not have cubs of her own? Gradually the songs about us became less and less as we grew fewer in number. I think we would have all died out like our cousin the Cheetah who once hunted not very far from us. But then a miracle happened. Man decided we should live. He now considered us important not only for the forest but his own survival. Hah! That is a poor joke. But I told you man has a strange mind. Imagine hunting us down for hundreds of years and then suddenly turning around and saying. “We must stop all this killing. Not good. Not good for us at all.” But do not think for a moment I am complaining. This is, indeed, a miracle. The gods of the forest have smiled on us once again after so many centuries. The paintings on caves, the songs , the rules written on stone to protect us may have all vanished but now we have some sort of protection once again. Man has made rules that we should not be hunted. It does not work all the time since man’s greed for our skin and bones has not changed but I do believe my cubs have a fair chance to live. I lie here in the forest waiting for the men to shoot me. No, they are not going to kill me. They just want to take a photograph of me and my cubs. I do not like them coming too near my cubs and give a low growl, baring my teeth. How it thrills them! I told you they had a weird sense of fun. So I stretch, give them a big yawn, showing all my teeth ,even the broken one at the back, and send them home happy. Bulbul Sharma is an artist, author and teaches children with special needs Sher Khan from Kipling’s ‘Jungle Book’ surveys his kingdom ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TAKE A GOOD LOOK... THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE A TIGER Neelam Raaj | TNN Tiger country is losing its stripes, surely, and not slowly enough. From an estimated 40,000 big cats in India a century ago, the number may be down to just 1,300 and falling. Soon, Kipling’s Jungle Book may be all that we have of Sher Khan. The next time, President Bill Clinton comes visiting, there may be no ‘Bamboo Ram’ or his cubs to spot. The mighty Royal Bengal Tiger is in trouble. The latest blow was the Panna reserve’s admission last month that it has lost all of its 24 tigers. It was a repeat of the 2005 Sariska story, though there were warning signs this time round. The tiger tragedy is being played out everywhere. Namdapha (Arunachal Pradesh) had 12 tigers in 2006 but has not had a single sighting this year. Ditto Buxa (West Bengal), which also had 12 tigers. Dampa (Mizoram) may have only two tigers left. Indravati in Chhattisgarh has been taken over by Maoist rebels. The situation is bad in Palamau in Jharkhand and Simplipal in Orissa. In MP’s Kanha reserve, one of the best tiger habitats, there have been six unexplained tiger deaths since November 2008. The conservation story is back to square one — or rather the 1970s, when Project Tiger was launched and the numbers stood at 1,827. Forty years and millions of rupees later, numbers rose, only to drop to an all-time low. The last tiger census in 2006 put numbers at 1,411. Since then, nearly a 100 have died. What’s killing the Indian tiger? HUNTING THE HUNTER Tiger numbers may be falling but not the price on its head. In the international market, a tiger pelt goes for $10,000, a bowl of tiger penis soup (said to improve sexual prowess) for $320 and a single claw for $20. It’s estimated that a single specimen — ground down and separated into various medicines — earns roughly $50,000. China’s rising affluence has meant greater demand for tiger parts. “It’s the traditional Chinese medicine market that's driving demand,” says Belinda Wright of the Wildlife Protection Society of India. For poachers, who use Nepal as a transit route to China, the big cat is big business. SQUEEZED FOR SPACE In the name of development, forests are being cleared to build roads and human encroachment is eroding buffer zones, reducing the animals’ habitat and food supply. “Tiger reserves take up just 2% of India’s landmass. All we need to do is make is those 35,000 sq km inviolate,” says P K Sen, founder-director of Project Tiger. Easier said than done. In 2006, a new law granted tribals legal right to forest land. Thousands of people flooded into the forests, elbowing out wildlife. But the government also declared that the Act did not mean ‘Critical Tiger Habitats’. Rs 50 crore was also set aside for a Tiger Protection Force. TOOTHLESS FORCE The budget for tiger protection has gone up but the green army tasked with saving the big cat has neither the equipment nor the training for the job. Forest guards, wielding lathis or .315 rifles have to take on poachers armed with automatics. “There are huge vacancies in their ranks and most of them are old since there has been no recruitment for 20 years,” says Ashok Kumar of the Wildlife Trust of India. Range officers get no training in wildlife enforcement. “They are not wellversed in legal procedures and 90% of the cases against poachers fail to stand up in court,” says Kumar. TOO MANY CENTRES OF POWER Better co-ordination between the Centre and states could save many a tiger: that’s the consensus among conservationists. “Funds are required but what is even more urgently needed is the two working in tandem,” says Wright. She cites Panna as an example. The Madhya Pradesh authorities ignored warnings by a Central team. TOURIST TRAP Today, tigers are prisoners of human intruders. At night, they are wary of poachers. By day, there are camera-clicking tourists. “Irresponsible tourism can pose a big problem for the tiger,” says Sen. But the good news is that the National Tiger Conservation Authority has now barred visitors from breeding areas. SO IS IT TOO LATE? “Bagh Bachao, Jungle Bachao, Bharat Bachao” is the rallying cry of tiger NGOs. Some experts worry that the small population makes the future of the tiger scientifically unviable, others are optimistic. Until now, the big cat has always been extraordinarily adaptable and resilient. “All a tiger needs,” says Kumar, “is a little bit of cover, some water and some prey.” End of the tale? 37 is the number of sanctuaries for tigers in India 7 reserves are on alert as there’s no information available on the number of tigers they have — or if there are any at all. 0 is the number of tigers in Panna. Last month, officials admitted that the reserve had lost all its 24 tigers 35 tigers disappeared from Sariska in 2005. It became the first reserve to lose all its tigers to poaching 50 is the average age of forest staff as there has been hardly any recruitment in the last 10 years 10-20,000 rupees is what a poacher makes for a killing though tiger parts sell for thousands of dollars in international market 1,300 AND GOING DOWN * 2006 census put number at 1,411 but since then more have died. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- South gives the big cat a fighting chance B Aravind Kumar | TNN There’s a part of India where the tiger may still have a fighting chance: the Western Ghats. The big cat roams free here and in goodly numbers, from the southern tip right up to Maharashtra. Eight tiger reserves — in Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala — have been rated ‘good’ to ‘satisfactory’ by the Centre’s 2009 preliminary status report on the tiger. Experts say this is because of good governance, constant surveillance and monitoring, pro-active local tribes, a zealous scientific community, habitat quality and contiguity and an excellent ‘prey base’, which means plentiful supplies of deer. In Mudumalai, for instance, tiger numbers are believed nearly to have doubled in recent times. Field director Rajiv K Srivastava says anti-poaching watchers patrol the deep deciduous forests round-the-clock. “The wireless network helps rush them to vulnerable areas when they receive information about movement of suspected poachers,’’ he adds. Each watcher, mostly from a local tribe, covers 15-20 km daily. The tiger has also returned to Sathyamangalam sanctuary — erstwhile Veerappan country — after two decades. Some say this is because the guns have fallen silent, along with rising tiger numbers in adjoining Mudumalai and Bandipur, which sends the animals looking for more area to roam. Scientists working in the field spotted two tigresses with five cubs at two different locations last year. Forest officers estimate that there are at least 10 tigers in the division. The 2008 status report on tigers by the National Tiger Conservation Authority and Wildlife Institute of India estimates tiger numbers in the Western Ghats of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala at 402, with a lower limit of 336 and upper limit of 487. The Bandipur and Nagarhole tiger reserves are almost full. “Highquality research on tigers and their prey base has resulted in a pool of scientific data which facilitates reliable monitoring,’’ says Ravi Chellam, country director, Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS), India programme. WCS staff range across 22,000 sq km of forest in Karnataka, tracking tigers to gather data from the field. Every quarter, the WCS shares data with the Karnataka forest department. “Strict protection of the forests by using science is the hallmark of tiger conservation in Karnataka,’’ says Chellam. Recently, WCS scientists led by Ullas Karanth used high-tech fecal sampling to tally and assess numbers. Tiger scat is thought to provide a unique DNA signature allowing researchers to accurately identify individual animals. Another encouraging sign are tiger sightings in non-contiguous areas. This indicates the presence of a “meta-population”, ie tigers who move from one reserve to another, thereby improving the gene pool. This gives conservationists reason to hope that another Sariska is not waiting to happen in the south. In the Eastern Ghats, the Nagarjunasagar-Srisailam Tiger Reserve in Andhra Pradesh is back from the brink. The Centre’s report damned the reserve as ‘poor’. The Naxalite presence threatened the tiger’s core habitat for more than a decade and foresters could not enter the area. But the tiger population inched up to 53 in 2008 from just 34 in the nineties. “The Naxal presence is still there. But the forest field staff have started going inside for habitat improvement, a vast change from the time when no kind of administration existed there,’’ says A K Nayak, the field director. But there are reasons to worry as well. At a recent seminar in Chennai, the chief wildlife wardens of the southern states admitted they did not have enough trained staff to take on poachers. In the rainforest habitats of Kalakad-Periyar and Anaimalai-Parambikulam, low tiger density can be reversed only if the prey base is protected. “The time has come for the foresters to go back to old-fashioned conservation, that is physical protection of forests, leaving development to other departments,’’ Karanth, one of India’s top tiger experts, told the seminar. Karanth believes tigers will survive and thrive. Perhaps the Western Ghats are a proof that he is right. EUREKA Catch a tiger by its poo Saira Kurup | TNN No one can say how many tigers India really has unless we start to collect their poo and use it for DNA identification. Conservationists are relying less on the traditional method of counting — tracking pugmarks — which is reportedly prone to errors. Instead, the most hi-tech tool may be a poop scoop. And a camera. Cameras strategically placed along wildlife trails provide photos of the unique striped pattern on a tiger’s flanks. This is matched with DNA identification of faeces, a new, non-invasive way of collecting DNA samples. Earlier methods required tissue or blood samples from the sedated animal. Faeces samples are carefully collected to avoid contamination and preserved in absolute alcohol. It is first screened for species identification — tiger or leopard? After the DNA is extracted, individual tigers are identified and the results are matched with the findings of camera traps in the relevant area. The camera trap method has been successfully used in various reserves to record tiger numbers. But in places such as the Sundarbans, Siberia and the rainforests of south-east Asia, where tiger density is low and camera trapping impractical because of the hostile environment, DNA identification through tiger faeces may work well, Bangalore scientists of the Wildlife Conservation Society said in a recent paper in Biological Conservation journal. They say that DNA identification can also be useful in the broader context of counting other animal numbers too. Counting a particularly elusive species becomes easier if its droppings become invaluable DNA samples. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The People Who Govern Us

I just got back home.. and happened to think that I'd get some studying done, so I went to pick up a book and found a laminated random thingy lying on the table. I picked it up, and it turned out to be my Voter Identity Card from the Election Commission of India.

After, and I'm being very honest when I say this, going through absolute CRAP to ensure that my name gets on that voters' list, I registered on Jaago Re.com and ran around the city trying to find out where exactly my form was to be submitted. Then found out the centre was wrong, then went to the right one, got the things done there. They said come back the next day. So I went back the next day, then they said I'd not filled one other form (which wasn't even on the list of forms to be filled) so I asked what it was for and they said it was for a voter identity card. I happily filled it for it meant I would not have to come back to fill it later on. And yes, the centre was none other than our very own Maamledaar Kachehri. The LAST place any girl should go alone. Especially for stuff like this. apart from having to stand in eternal lines, you have to defend yourself from eve teasing weirdos interested in everything apart from voting! Jabbing them, making sure your form doesn't rip, and keeping a calm head so the "authorities" don't categorize you as troublesome for being rude to them.. is quite a challenge.

Im not bragging when I say that.. I did all that on my own. All because I really do think every single vote counts. But what I dont understand is, the government behaves like they're doing us a bloody FAVOUR by letting us vote!! My Voter Identity Card, for instance, has my name spelled wrong, in both Marathi and English. It has my birth date printed as " XX/XX/1990 " - what the heck would you make of that!? I feel like a "do not disclose birth date" category! My address, is also wrong! They've randomly changed the name of my house!! So I now live in some 1223, Shukra!! Sheeeesh!

These people have to do ONE thing right. And that also they mess up. They claim voting is as simple as a 2 step process. My ass! It's downright torture to have to go through all of that nonsense, and then get an IDENTITY card that gives you, the WRONG IDENTITY!!! I want to scream into that piece of paper wrapped up in plastic, that this is not my name!! If you're going to screw it up, then why offer to do it on such a large scale anyway?

I mean, there must be thousands of other harassed people, like me, who went through madness and the result wasn't even correct! We wasted our time, AND our votes for a completely incompetent governing body. So WHY should I vote for the local elections? WHY? So the next round of new comers can get false identities too?

It's double torture now, because I now have to go back to that stupid place and stand in yet another frustrating line to say that this is all wrong, then fill another form, stick another photo, put in another 3 hours, and then again... wait.. for all eternity.. until someday, they have it right. Maybe, when I'm 43! But by then I'm sure.. I would not want to vote. So they can keep it with them and do whatever the heck they want with it.

Maybe it's a small thing.. but at the end of the day, it's VERY annoying to know that you were all that excited and you believed in what you were doing only to become someone else according to the Election Commission of India!

Verdict : Downtrodden state of affairs. Politicians, and the government could both do well to step out of those tinted glass, air-conditioned houses and cars, and take a look at a lay man's life in this country.

I Will Survive

"At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to get along
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
did you think I'd crumble
did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me"

This song by Gloria Gaynor, happens to be a very relevant song right now. Especially the part that asks, "did you think I'd crumble, did you think I'd lay down and die?" It's been a very rough ride. Learned a lot. And yes, I did learn how to get along. But what it did, is that it put a stain on certain people for the rest of my life. I will never be able to trust these people when it comes to anything. Of course, no one is a bad person. To each, his own. But then, diffidence in someone you claim to love, isn't the sort of thing that can get you in the good books of that person!

At this point, it's sorta like a constant reminder that no matter what happens, for a bunch of nitwits, I do mean something still. And their presence in my life makes every moment of crap worth it.. because, in the end, I know that if I need them, THESE chaps will not give up on me, or let go of my hand. It's an unwritten agreement. And I have no reason to believe that just because of one thousand bad experiences, the next one is gone be no. 1001!!

A big thank you.. to my dearest, closest most weird friends...who have, are and always will be with me even through the stinkiest of bullshit! Just that one person missing. Whiskey. The actual light of my life. :) The 4 legged retard who puts the heart beat in my life and the oxygen in my haemoglobin! :) The craziest, wackiest, most adorable.. Whiskey. :) I miss that kid. *Sigh* Ahh well.. at least I know she's there too!

I figure - either Im not as bad as certain people make me out to be, or then all these suckers who stick with me as my friends, are equally pathetic... :D Whatever the case may be, I love them..and yeah, they do love me! :D

Bottom line is : I WILL survive!!

To Each His Own

A friend came by to visit this evening and we spoke for a while. About several things. Among them, the hard reality that he would be leaving in less than 20 days.. to go to our "very own" U.S.A. and may never return to Pune. I realized then- how many times I avoid this thought and its consequential thoughts. It's a known fact, that the three of us will not be in the same city for more than a year now. This guy will go off to another continent. I will leave this city for my Masters degree, and the third chap has no clue where he's going to land up.

I've seen this situation happen in films.. Ive seen it happen to other people. It has happened to me before. But never at such a level. It's a very weird thought process. After having had some very rough weeks in the recent past, to think that the only thing you can actually call your own, your friends, will also someday, be away from you. The thought itself is frightfully intense. Will this also go away someday? Will I no longer have these people with me? These people with whom I have spent so many moments.. and have so many memories..are they also, just going to vanish someday? The thought of having to start all over, isn't even scary anymore. It's plain avoidable. I escape from it because the more I think of it, the more depressed I get.

When someone says, " I don't know if I will come back", it's VERY saddening. My eyes can't help going moist at such times. I really don't want to lose any of my friends. It takes a hell of a lot of time and effort and trust to make them. All my 9 friends mean a LOT to me. Can't just see them go.. The distance is very scary.

But I guess, in the end, everyone of us.. has to choose our path, and in the end, we only want the best for our friends, even if it keeps them away from us. So, "to each ,his own" is something I didn't think would have such a painful application. However, it is entirely true. And here, I need to remind myself, that no matter what, or where, with equal efforts from both friends, a friendship can never get washed away. No wave is big enough to erase the bonds between friends.. I sure hope this thing really is true, coz soon, a trio is going to come down to a duo :( Ah well, one more reason to like America.. my friend's going there! :D Cheers dosti ke naam!

Sun rise

The last 3 months, have been completely CRAZY. I honestly didn't expect the start of the 3rd decade of my life to involve such complicated crap! But well, since it's there, I'd rather deal with it than just sit and mope around. My moping period is over.

Right from April 1st, life's been going topsy turvy.. a few weeks in between were decent and then, stormy again. Now, it's a full-fledged hurricane! But, thankfully, I'd had my defence system rebuilt recently. Sometimes, it's hard to understand why certain people change so much, and why suddenly, your position in their life goes even lower than "down the drain", but I guess, in the end, something good really does come out of bad stuff.

As a realist who is rather optimistic about life (sometimes that can be a pain by the way), I tend to feel that there is a bright side to everything. Today I realize, that's not entirely true. There's a bright side, only when you want there to be one. If you convince yourself that this is the end, and just shut your eyes, then it's going to be tough. I don't think small things in life get enough credit. The real strength isn't in actually getting up and moving on. It's in the thought of keeping a level headed approach to what comes next and telling yourself, that even though things are this bad right now, if you close your doors, you're going to miss out. And not wanting to miss out is the strength. Excruciating details, I know. But I really think that most people, when they say, "get up and walk when you fall", really mean that "keep telling yourself that your time will come and stay awake for it.. don't drift off into depressed sleep".

Again today, I realized that feeling when you're at your wits' end and you've said all the negative stuff you can, the point where you say, "Enough whining! Let me at 'em!" , is such an adrenaline rush!! It feels great to know that you're not down and under and you still can choose to thrash your problems out of your face. The feeling that you still have what it takes to stand up and be happy, is a great feeling.

I have no clue why I'm thinking of such details.. but it's a good feeling.. (it's not particularly great typing all this since my fingers are practically torn and ripped from playing too much Guitar.. ) All in all, life's a VERY weird dinner. You really like some of it, you detest part of it, and then there's the part you think is passable..

Usually when I'm in such a mood, I look through a lot of photographs.. of my wild escapades, or family trips (which most often than not are to Goa), or images of wild animals, habitats, and friends.. It's like therapy. Leaves a very nostalgic taste on my mind's tongue. Am now in a decent mood. Have made a plan for myself. And surprisingly, even after losing almost everything I worked for, I'm STILL over worked!! I fail to understand how that happens, but I'm ecstatic that what I said was proved right! I was telling myself that just coz' this is a long dark era, doesnt mean the sun won't ever rise. And walla! I still have Gharials to work for.. I still have wildlife to conserve.. coz' at the end of the day, people will come n go, and leave you to rot, but your work, never leaves your side. And you can't run from it, coz when it's in your blood, it will catch up with u, and bite you in your ass and remind you that it's right there! :) Brilliant feeling!

The sun is rising again. Adrenaline is at it again. The zeal and passion are working overtime and the monsoon is finally starting to feel like "my season" again! :)

So what if I work for different people now? So what if I have a few bruises and some broken bones? Who said that those are bad things?

"Get on up when you're down, baby;

Take a good look around.

I know it's not much,

But it's ok..

Keep on movin; on anyway!" - makin a lot of sense again! :D

Cast Away

All my life, for as long as I have known myself, I have always been the kind who has no qualms being myself. Today, I wonder, why people have such a problem with that. I used to think that once a relationship is established, no amount of caoxing and no amount of external force and pressure can melt the foundation of that relationship.

I was wrong. Not just melt, apparently, a relationship can come CRASHING down. Even when you place all your trust and faith in its very foundation. One breeze comes and the few words it brings with it, end up destroying what took you years to build. Only you know how much effort you have put in to not only build, but also maintain a relationship.. and suddenly, the smallest of things comes by and blasts your construction to nothing but mere debris. And this debris is what hurts the MOST.

I wonder how people claim that they trust you, and at the first chance they get, they prove themselves wrong. Is trust actually so gullible? Is it actually so feeble that it can just be withdrawn after trivial words?

It's strange how, even when you know you've done nothing wrong, being true to yourself can also hurt you so much! Sometimes there's an incredibly strong desire to scream at and yell at or throw something at that person.. and then sometimes, there's a desire to just keep quiet, get up and walk again, but I cannot even explain HOW MUCH that hurts.. keeping quiet, when you know you've done nothing wrong.. hurts. Sometimes I think, I've done my job. I've explained. Even after that if people cannot trust my own word about myself, then they can choose to believe whatever the hell they want to.. and I will just have to move on, and see other people take my place as time goes by..

Now, right now, at this point, I realize- this is never going to stop hurting. It's a very obvious realization. And now I detest myself for placing that faith in someone who reciprocated by letting go of my hand and asked me never to return.. How can people do that? It's basic humanity!

I know Ive lost nothing professionally, but personally, I'm never trusting anyone ever again. People just do not deserve it.

Strange that for every good moment Life gives us, it gives about 50 bad and 49 pathetic experiences free with that good moment. I have no more words..

The Snapping Rope

There are certain things that make you think deeply of your contribution to your field. When that field is wildlife conservation, it makes sense to review your role from time to time. I used to think that an individual's role in conserving wildlife always has to be fixed at one thing. Over the years I've realized, that that isn't true. You have to do whatever you can do, and whenever you can. You have to jump at every chance and not let it slip. Whether it comes in the form of being able to raise funds for a capable NGO or whether it is being able to go out there on field and actually studying a species and its habitat.
I read a couple of well written articles on the Internet today. All of them, had something or the other, to do with wildlife conservation. With so many people concerned about so many different aspects of wildlife and its conservation, why have we still not progressed enough? There are so many answers to that. But political will, as the Teacher says, remains a giant topic. As I see things presently, our endangered and critically endangered species hang at one end of a rope whose other end is held by the human race. We are so many, and yet our end is the weakest is being able to SUSTAIN that rope of ecological balance.
We're putting so much pressure on it, and pulling so hard at it, that out of sheer stupidity and ignorance, that one sensitive end with all our precious species on it is snapping. We are holding on alright. But as usual, we care about nothing but ourselves. The few of us who do bother about the other end of the rope, are just simply not enough. We need more people to be concerned about what WE are doing to OUR own Planet Earth and its wonderful wildlife. And then we need this whole gang to balance out what we ourselves converted into an unbalanced, dangerous place to be living on. Before that rope snaps, and we lose everything that we should have been protecting and respecting, WE need to do something about it. Whether it is the problem of political will, or funds, or anything else. We need to address those problems, find solutions, and implement them correctly.
if we've created a problem, then we bloody well better solve it! Anyway, just as usual, this was just something that I was thinking about. I don't feel like writing about it in great detail as of now. All I wanted to write about, was my imagination of the balance, as a rope. And then imagining it to be snapping at one end, which is a very depressing thought!

The 3 part solution

While I was living my best Summer yet, there are certain little things that happened, or were said, that sparked an idea of an article in my brain. One such moment was when we were at Doc’s house and 3 friends of Divya’s were also there for dinner. One of them, asked very sincerely and innocently, “How do you have the balls to go against what you parents have thought out for you and choose a profession which neither pays, nor sustains you?”

As I see it, these are 3 different aspects : a)Going against what our parents have thought out for us; b)Having the balls and c)Non-paying, non-sustaining profession.

Addressing each one is not a complex procedure. Firstly, as from what I understood of his question, all parents apparently chalk out a plan for their kid/s regarding what they want the kid to grow up and be. I have no clue whether my parents had such a “thought” for me but I know that they always wanted me to do what I would like doing, and they wanted me, as do all parents, to be successful. They however, did think I’d choose a “normal” and conventional field. So when I chose my field, no big surprise, it didn’t go down very well at all. Still hasn’t. What I think parents need to understand is, that no matter how many plans you make for you children, in the end, it is, and will always be, the child’s choice that matters. In some cases, either one of the parents had always dreamed of being, for example, a doctor. So if, for any reason, that parent did not get to live his/her dream, it is often “handed down” to the kid and the kid is expected to secure some ridiculously brilliant marks and do very well academically and become a doctor, and live his/her parent’s dream. In every way, this is wrong! Just because you didn’t get to do what you wanted to, does not mean you put your child through the same! My parents were never happy with the choice I made. For the first 5 years they called it a phase, and when I finished my 12^th, someone had to give in. Them or me. And it’s pretty obvious by now, that I’m not the one who did. They had to accept the fact that the wilderness and wildlife is what keeps me happy, and that’s what I want to ALWAYS spend my time doing. Today, they’re proud, because I made a decision, I made my own choice, and stuck to my guts, and I’ve achieved more than what either of us had imagined for me! That’s what comes from sticking to your guts. And today, they know and I know, that whatever happens to me in the future, whether bad or good, will be the consequence of MY decision. I will never be able to blame them for what situation I am in. If I accept all responsibility for myself, it makes things much easier.

So – I didn’t go against them for the heck of it. Actually, I didn’t go against them or their wishes. I just stuck to what I wanted for myself.

Secondly, as far as having the balls is concerned, that really is no big deal. Since I was a kid, the rebellion spirit has always been in me so for me to stand up and say I will do this and only this, was no great thing. I never saw that as having guts. I saw it as knowing yourself, and knowing what you want to do in life. Which, I guess, everyone should know at some point in their lives. It takes courage to go against the world. But this is different. It’s not like everyone was conspiring to make me a dentist (they were at one point hell bent on me doing medicine though). So I didn’t have to fight off a group of villains! All I had to do was stand up. For- a)myself, b)what I believed in, c)and for the field that I chose. So I did. I chose to do a degree as worthless as a BSc because it did two things. 1)- it gave me the time to do my own thing out in the field because I could afford to bunk college extensively (initially only because later I found out, I could bunk WITH permission, so I could legally take off whenever I wanted to). 2)- I didn’t need to study a lot. Just some basic stuff which I already knew, and some more additional stuff that was supposed to qualify as knowledge! So I got an easy deal. Only time I had to go mad, was during submission time, when I’d go mad rushing to finish journals, and exam time, because I would not study the whole year, and would cram my brain with text the day before the exams. So I figured, I could do that, and hence, the BSc thing seemed worth it to me. What the heck did I know my course structure would frustrate the daylights out of me and I would think of dropping out? But then, I started this. So I will finish it. One more year of this torture should be cool coz I don’t have to go to college too often anyway. Just need to get permits, and take off to do some project somewhere in some jungle.

So – it’s not guts. It is simply knowing- that this is what you want, and it is what YOU picked for yourself, and that you will never be able to blame anyone but yourself for the choice you made. Once that’s all set in your mind, and you are able to accept all consequences, it is all cool.

Thirdly, non-paying, non-sustaining profession. Honestly, if you use your brain wisely, I think, wildlife is a very rich field. Rich in terms of the amount of satisfaction you get, non-monetary. Job satisfaction. There is money here. You just have to know how to make it. And it depends on me whether I am able to learn how to make it or not. Agreed, it is much much tougher than most other fields because it takes you decades of effort to earn you your first salary. But once that’s done, it’s brighter because you now know the “tricks of the trade”. As for sustaining oneself, there are endless examples of people who work for wildlife conservation full time. All these people are alive and well, getting their 3 meals a day, and they’ve learned how to make their money. Whether it is Bittu Sahgal of Sanctuary Asia who has learned in his own way, or whether it is the Forest Department, or Govardhan Singh Rathore who has adopted several self-sustaining methods. All these chaps know their requirements, they know what they got to do to get there, and these are just 3 examples. The first 3 I could think of. And yeah, there may not be the kind of cash that an IT pro might get, but how many IT pros get to wake up one morning, smell fresh rainforest air, and say, “ok, Im going to go for a walk along the river and monitor King Cobras today.” I live, breathe, love, talk wildlife. That is only because I chose to. All comes down to just one thing. The choice you make.

You can choose whether you want a mansion, 5 servants, 7 dogs with a servant each, an Audi, a BMW, a Merc, a Ferrari, blah blah blah… OR you want a life in which you make your own calls, you have NO boss, because thankfully, you dictate terms to yourself, and you get to live in places that most people only dream of or see on TV or hear of.
Other people’s dreams also are too polluted to let them dream of rainforests or Chambal .. but you- you get to live there.

That’s the life. And for me, that IS life.

Home -Run

Having come back from one of the best summers Ive had till date, I'm suddenly at a loss for words. While on my way back here, and while I was in Ranthambhore, I'd thought of so many things I will write about once Im back.. but now, even though I can actually remember 10% of those topics, I have absolutely no will to write.. This whole withdrawal is a very terrible phase to be in. Especially, when the few people that can get you out of it, are very far away, and not around you. It's so weird because even friends (some of them) can't help in this case. Sometimes, people from the concerned field, who are close friends, are the only hope to get out of withdrawal. And that's exactly what this is about. Those weird wildlifers, are nowhere around.

I spent this summer in Ranthambhore, Rajasthan. And every single breathing moment of it, was worth the choice of going there. The moment of meeting friends again, and knowing that the next week is going to be full of fun was a brilliant feeling. A Gharial Expedition Team reunion! The Tiger Watch office, home to so many of us, the several "hang-outs" tagged as favourite spots in Maa Farm, and the anytime anywhere paths that lead into the wild patch in front of office.. Everyone was in their element.

The first 2 days, of preparing for the Conservation Leadership Course by Tiger Watch were quite enjoyable. Then came the running around. A massive sudden influx of participants happened, and right from distributing their rooms in Shani Vilas to making sure the rooms were all perfect, the air conditioning was working fine, the food, water, the course schedule... all of that, was absolute fun. Then the presentations, the frequency of crossing the road to go either into Maa Farm or into Shani Vilas was increasing by the hour. Divya kick started the course, and Rina gave it her over-rehearsed introduction very convincingly, and then, the Tiger Man himself stepped on stage, his pugmarks being followed by every individual's gaze, silence, all around, and Fateh Singh Rathore then spoke. This man is miraculous no matter how many times you hear him speak, because everytime, he's just as captivating as the last time.

The next 5 days, were, with all due respect, the craziest days. What with the park rides, the lectures, the presentations, slide shows, films, QUESTIONS!!![hint : if u dont know why this word is in capital letters, and you were there for the course, you need a new brain!] , and the fun.. it made the course one helluvan activity! The faculty was an interesting bunch of people. Right from the silent observer Jay to the ever so energetic Madhu Ma'm , and from Fatji to the man who IS the undoubted, unmatched KING of Ranthambhore - Doc. The course was more of an informal combined learning session where participants learned not only from the faculty, but also from each other! People like Hans, who have spectacular experiences, people like Ginseng and Bensen, who had come from Meghalaya with wonderful accounts of the wilderness in the North-east. It was a period of gaining knowledge and getting to know the intricate details of things that we either only hear about, or see on TV. Knowing about Anti-poaching operations hands on, from the man who leads them, is quite a blow out!

The visits to Ranthambhore National Park, on the 21st and 24th were periods of intense searching, for the striped royalty that softly walks the paths in the forest, the Tiger. The visit to National Chambal Sanctuary, on the 23rd, was my highlight, having got to spend my 20th birthday with the eyes and snout of a Gharial in the Goddess of all Rivers- the Chambal! :) I would have loved it if that Gharial had decided to surface a little.. but ah well, with all due respect to its "wild" nature and status, I'm happy she was THERE. :)

That night, the dinner that we had at the Pali farmhouse, was undoubtedly, the BEST dinner I've ever had. Scrumptious food!! All of Rajasthan in one meal!! The course, as soon as it begun, was over even sooner! All of a sudden, it was the 25th of May. And we were dropping participants to the station to board their respective trains. Suddenly, all that time spent with people from different places, different backgrounds, fields, was over! And it was bye-bye time. Luckily for the "volunteer gang" there was still that one nutcase called Hans Dalal with us. By then, we'd all become the mad core group. And then, on the 25th, everything suddenly changed.

During the ending and certificate ceremony, I got a piece of paper passed to me by someone who's name I shall not mention for her own safety. :) She had written - "Park in the afternoon?" All I had to do was look sideways and nod vigorously and my answer was pretty clear!! Smiles exchanged, no.of people confirmed, and gypsies booked! Zone 5 and Zone 4 is what we had. And since Zone 5 had been having all the Tiger sightings, everyone was rooting for Zone 5! So when Divya asked, who wants to go to Zone 5- ALL hands went up! :D [that honestly was hillarious] We got our cameras, binocs, what not, and some 5-6 of us reached the gate to find the Zone 5 gypsy packed n full! So we launched ourselves in the Zone 4 gypsy. All set. And my oh my what happened next was THEEEEEE point of NOT relying on "recorded sightings"!

Zone 5 people (as we now call them) , we were hoping, get to see what they're all so excited about. And meanwhile, our cool gypsy (hahahah.. had to do this!), was going through a brilliant patch of forest and I simply love that part of Ranthambhore. Zone 4!! No Tiger was ok.. but that patch is beautiful! And we looked left, and saw the sky in sepia tone. Literally, ALL brown. Sand storm. Huge sand storm was headed our way. And within 5 minutes, we were BANG in the middle of it. Dust coming from literally everywhere!!! I was frantically trying to keep the camera away from it, and honestly dont know or care about what anyone else in the gypsy was upto!

12-13minutes into that mad rush of dust and all of a sudden, we were out of it! Ok now here the background is important. There is an article further down in this blog, about Ranthambhore National Park, which has photos of a Tigress and her cubs. She is the Berda female, and those are her cubs. This Berda female, who was with me when I turned 19 last year at the exact same place, died in April 2009. I am obviously still not over that. But being in Ranthambhore, on Zone 4, brought back all those 45 minutes of memories. And we were headed exactly there! Berda. I wanted to see the cubs. We checked the first cave, zinch. Approached 2nd cave, and the driver n I say simultaneously- Tigers in cave!

The mood changes, and everyone is up n about, not literally obviously. Scampering and moving here and there to catch a glimpse of the striped beauty. And that's it! My two Berda babies! Sleeping away to glory. nose to nose. The female on the left and male on the right. They didnt even budge when we reached and we were the only gypsy there. After about 3-4minutes, the male woke up, yawned, licked his paw, went off to sleep again. The female woke up, did the same thing. Again the male woke up, and then he moved his head sideways and looked at us. The female got up, stretched, actually nudges the male, who also got up and then he climbed down from the cave, and came down, VERY close to us. [Im not mentioning the distance for obvious reasons]. And then, when he reached down, he went up to a tree, put his front paws on it and stretched! then turned around, and plonked down. Just sat! Cute kitty pose. Within seconds, the female was up, who by then, had been sitting at the edge of the cave watching us and the male cub. She climbed down too. And came to the male, they acknowledged each others' presence by rubbing their heads against each others'. And then the female decided to play Sherlock Holmes!

But before her investigations could begin, the male decided we were too close for comfort and snarled at us and once we backed off respectfully, he went n sat down again. The female cub then came up very very close, and there was fallen tree that was blocking her line of sight, so the curious cat that she is, she ducked under the log and looked to see if we're still there. She was so close we could see her eyes ever so clearly!! Those eyes!!! Oh my god!! I can keep looking into them endlessly! These cubs, both of them, have the most enigmatic eyes. So expressive!! Will never forget that stare. And just as luck would have it, my camera, decided that the battery wasnt charged enough to continue taking photos. So all the photos that I could have got from literally 6feet away, I didnt get. What I did get, is the damn experience!! Of BEING there, with those two precious cats, and watch them.. and feel so privileged to be there and witness their behaviour! Chuck the camera I told myself. Just see what you're getting to see!

In a matter of 24 minutes, it was over. 2 more gypsies had come. And we were going away. And my lens cap had gone missing! Everything had happened just like it always does in the wild - unexpectedly! You can NEVER know what it going to happen where. The wilderness decides what it wants you to see and what it wants to hide from you. You are totally at the mercy of Mother Nature when you pay her a visit. And that is what I love about my field. That there are other people, who respect and love the wilderness for these very reasons! This bunch of "mad wilders" are people who simply in love. In love with the wilds of India. In love with the unique wildlife of Rajasthan whether it be Ranthambhore, or Chambal, or Desert National park.. It is ALL part of one of the best wilderness displays that we have today.

Oh yes, and coming back to the Zone 5 people - they saw nothing!! :D Kudos to the chance takers! And while all this was happening, our anti-poaching star, Doc and Ruchik and Digvijay and Lakkhan the driver were somewhere 300kms away raiding a house in some village and discovering 7 illegal guns, a barn owl and a dove. Talk about under cover operations!

And in a flash of an eyelid, days kept running past us. 25th was over like that. 26th onwards, we were just the core group left .. back to the usual. A Nilgai had been killed in the "backyard" of Maa farm.. so we'd go check that out once a while.. and on one such visit, our man Ruchik called me and said in a hushed voice "there's a python here!" .. without bothering about what he meant by "here" , Suyash and I took off. Camera in hand, floaters hanging on to feet, we were rushing there! Once located, we saw the python had caught a crow pheasant and was constricting it. Lens cap off, and camera rolling..

Another snake experience was in Jhoomar Bawri when we were all in the jeep and Doc suddenly breaked coz a snake was crossing the road. Arjun and I jumped out. Doc said Saw-scaled Viper. And he kept the lights on the snake while I tried getting it on a stick. And whoa!! Russell's Viper!! [Sorry Doc... but we're pretty sure that's what it was!! Blotches present and no arrow shaped head marking] And then Doc made us feel like nitwits by saying, he's only once seen a Russell's Viper in Ranthambhore!! Well anyway, a bike was coming and we had to get in the jeep... by which time the snake had obviously gone off into the darkness..!

The list is endless. The list of experiences with Doc and these sudden sightings is honestly, endless. Right from the night "safari" on the morning of my birthday, to look for what I believe was a Leopard, but turned out to be 11 Hares and a Fox... But oh man... Have u EVER seen 15 people in one gypsy?? Now THAT is an experience! Have u ever hung on to dear life with a crazy person driving?? Have u ever felt like ur holding on to the car rod with ur hands and the rest of you is flying behind? Yeah well, that's how it all felt! Happy birthday to me indeed!! :D i LOVED that ride.. for its sheer adventure and the spirit of the people who were also, hanging on for dear life at various ends of the gypsy! :) Thats what it takes to be a hard core wildlifer! [Anyone taking that seriously, please re-consider being a wildlifer]!!

And so on the 27th, after a wonderful boat ride in Chambal in the company of a WII scientist, B.C.Choudhury, our Gharial team learned a lot from him and our hopes got all refreshed and spirits re-lighted..And again, all to soon, we approached the 3rd of June. It was the morning of our departure. Just like that, we were gone too. And somewhere, in the back of my head, I know that one fine day, soon enough, I will be back there to annoy the life out of Doc, and to add more such experiences to my already 20 year old life.

Some glimpses.. of the wilderness we saw.. arranged in a general order of relevance.

All in all... Summer of 2009.. a HISTORICAL summer!!

Wonder of wonders

Sometimes I wonder whether I really am related to Mowgli. For the most part that Ive lived in a city, Ive always felt so much strong dislike toward it. For the last many months, Ive been wondering whether I really am some kid who was raised in the wild and has thus developed a strong dislike of humans. But as much as I would love to believe that, it's not true. I was most definitely raised by humans. Sadly.

Sometimes I wonder whether the things I consider precious memories and important developments in life are ever important events and memories to someone else as well? So many times these memories, and these feelings aren't limited to just one person. So many times it's not just about me. There are other people involved in these small but significant eventful memories. So I wonder, whether any of those people ever think of them the way I do, or whether these rungs of the ladder of memories, hold the same precious position in the hearts/minds/lives if the other people related to/with them as do with me.

Sometimes I wonder whether friends are there so that by the time your life is nearing its end, you dont have to think of whether you lived a life worth all the pain you had to go through. I think friends exist because when this moment comes, and you're eventually looking back at how you spent the last xyz amount of time, inadvertently, you end up realizing that if you didnt have those friends is your life, you would not have have been smiling while going down memory lane on your last day.

Sometimes I wonder, why I make such strong distinctions between acquaintances and friends. Then I realize that if I didnt make these differences, and if I didnt follow them, I wouldn't know whom to value when I am in that "memory lane" situation. If I didnt choose for myself, those who would one day mean everything to me, then I would rather not walk down memory lane because I would probably not have those memories to look back at without friends.

Sometimes I wonder how is it that I am more attached emotionally and mentally to those wild habitats, and their wild inhabitants, than I am to my family, or to other human beings. This one I wonder about a lot. Why do I love animals and the wilderness more than anyone or anything? And everytime I wonder about this one, I end up putting a "to be continued.." sign in my head. I can just never find the answer to this question. The closest possible explanation would be that all the while when I was growing up, my experiences with human beings were so terrible that I subconsciously blacklisted the species forever. I spent so much time with animals, that eventually, I knew who my friends were.

Sometimes I wonder how some people just have the capability to walk into your life without any sort of warning, and sweep your right off your own two feet! And I'm very glad that this doesn't happen very often. Being swept off and landing with a thud isn't all that great. But strangely, as much I still think that mankind is the most atrocious species, in a negative sort of way, these "sweepers" always make me effortlessly love them for who they are. Those few absolutely cartoons who have managed to walk into my life and land themselves all those special places, are one of their individual kind, because without them, I'd just be one very very lost human being.

Sometimes I wonder whether Im the only one who wonders so much!! But then , I can confidently say, that I have reason to believe that each and every "Sweeper" in my life is entirely and equally weird. Deep down inside, I know the answer. And the feeling of knowing that once created, these fond memories, always stick with you, is an absolute divine feeling!